Cheap Ass Chinese - Dumplings (dim sum)

Pops was always pretty good about bringing new food influences into the house and not being scared to try and replicate them. It gave me a cavalier attitude towards cooking. If it fails, feed it to the dog. If the dog won't eat it, try the cat. If the cat says, hell no - trash it and go get trashed, while laughing at your culinary wedgie. Yes, I have wrecked up bad enough that I was unable to in good conscience offer it to the critters. So, you skip two steps, it goes straight into the can and then, beer.

When I buy Dim Sum at the local chinese to-go, it's like $4 for 6 dumplings and some gingery soy sauce. Mama is WAY too cheap for that kind of action. I'm not so much caring about authenticity as I am about taste. The goal is to completely wreck your tastebuds, so that when you go out and just pick some up feeling lazy it tastes like cardboard.

The local grocery stores around here have ground pork for $2.50/lb. Flour is HOW cheap? Piffle, time to get out some recipes and make this worth the money. Yes, they can be frozen (before you cook them) to be eaten later. I'm not sure how long they can last... mine don't make it past the end of the week.

The Sauce v1 :

1 c Soy Sauce
1" Ginger knuckle - peeled and finely chopped
1 c Orange Juice
2 Tbsp Brown Sugar

Toss it in a pot and simmer until it's about 2/3rds of the original size. Strain if you have picky people who can't handle a bite or sight of ginger in their sauce. I keep a clean glass Salad dressing bottle to decant the sauce into once it's cooled.

The Filling :

1 Medium Carrot - grated
4 Scallions or Shallots if you prefer - minced
1# Fresh Ground Pork
2 tsp Five Spice Powder
1 Tbsp Crisco or Vegetable Shortening
1" Ginger knuckle - peeled and minced
1 tsp Soy Sauce
2 Tbsp Corn Starch

Dim sum is really a fridge cleaning easy chow. If you have elderly mushrooms, go ahead put em in. A squash that's about to turn? Shred that sucker. Wilting celery? Why not - chop it really fine.

Mix everything together in a bowl, cover it and stick it in the fridge until you're ready to cook em.

The Wraps :

What's the end goal? Do you want to fry them and then steam them? (That's potstickers) Then you'll need a thicker dough. Boil em in a soup? A little thicker than for steaming. Just steam them? Then you need a nice thin dough.

2 c Flour
3/4 c Boiling Water

Make a well in your flour and pour in the water, then stir. When you have a solid lump, knead it until it gets smooth and elastic. Yeah, it's gonna be warm, you don't have to burn your mitts off, tho.  Put the dough in a ziplock bag and let it sit on the counter for about an hour. You want to give the gluten time to develop. Some website I was on said that the dough should have the firmness of your earlobe. That's been working aces for me so far...

Assembly : 

Get your filling and dough out. A floured board and rolling pin, too. Snatch a chunk of dough outta the bag - about the size of a fat green grape. Roll it into a circle that's about as wide as a largish coffee cup rim. Or a big biscuit... Drop a tablespoon of filling into the center and pinch the sides closed. There are many different ways to make beautiful and creative looking dumplings. Bah - it's gonna be in mah belly soon enough, pretty can be for flowers. If you need a few drops of water to seal the dough, use em.

I steam mine in batches of 6 for 11 minutes per batch. If the center is firm, you're good. Don't want no raw pork, ain't gonna serve no raw pork. No way. No how.

Once you have your little dumpling sealed and ready for the next step, that's the time to freeze what you want to save. I steam a batch - see if I want to add more ginger, salt or five spice - adjust the mix and test it again before I freeze keeper batches. Too late for wishing once the dumpling has been sealed. Way too late once it's frozen. Spray some grease on a cookie sheet and throw the dumplings on there while you're making them, then stick the pan in the freezer. Once they're solid, toss em in ziplock bags 6 at a time. You will have to steam them for longer if they're frozen and not fresh. Add another 4 minutes and test. You'll find the timing that works for your setup.

Serving :

Throw 6 in a bowl, coat with the sauce and Nom! Double dipping is encouraged! This recipe makes about 36 dumplings. Yeah, think about the costs for a second. All said and done, it should cost less than $8 to make $24 worth of dumplings. And you don't have to wonder what's in it.

You want to try beef, chicken or shrimp? Go ahead! You want to add dried mushrooms to make em a little more savory? Soak your mushies and mince away! I don't eat any kind of seafood, but I'm told that a blend of 2/3 pork to 1/3 chopped shrimp is the super-duper-bomb-diggity.