Yam and Pineapple Breakfast Bread

I recently found myself in possession of a half dozen giant sized sweet potatoes. These suckers are about two fists big. Yeah. I've tried my hand at baked sweet potato fries a good dozen times and have never gotten them to cook properly. Around Thanksgiving, I buy one of these and make both candied sweet potatoes and a pie with it - more than enough for three adults and a child.  My brain got locked in a war between "WTF do I do with all these fonging yams??" and "Yams are a great source of vitamins - Hooray for fresh veg!"

Necessity breeds invention and all that, I guess. I ran to the Google and found a recipe for Yam Brownies.  *rant* Brownies have cocoa powder in them. Blondies do not. If you're gonna call something a brownie and that treat is lacking any form of chocolate, I'm gonna bust your balls over it. As a devoted Chocolate Whore, I say - tease the beast at your own peril.  *end rant*

The recipe I found was very sugar heavy. What good is it to use a vegetable to make a special something and then put SO much sugar in that you lose all the benefits? It's that Diet Coke and a Snickers lunch idea. They don't balance each other and you'll never convince me they do. (SO there! Pbbbth) 

This is what I came up with:

Yam and Pineapple Breakfast Bread

1 Huge Sweet Potato

1 can crushed Pineapple

1 tbsp Orange Juice Concentrate

1.5 tsp Almond Extract

 4 Large Eggs

1/2c ground Flax Seed

1 c All Purpose Flour

1 c Whole Wheat Flour

1 + 1/3 c Brown Sugar

2 tsp Cinnamon

1/2 tsp Allspice or Nutmeg

1 c Butter

1 tsp Salt

1.5 tsp Baking Powder

Peel and grate the yam. Use the small grater holes instead of the large ones if you can. It took me about 40 minutes to do one by hand. 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large bowl, mix the raw grated yam with the can of crushed pineapple and it's juice. Add the OJ concentrate, Almond extract, allspice and cinnamon. Fold it all together then stick it in the fridge.

In a separate bowl, cream the butter and sugar. Beat in the eggs and mix until well combined. Add the salt and baking powder, keep mixing. Add the flax, white flour and wheat flour. Mix until combined. Add the yam mixture and mix it some more. 

Spray grease a 13 x 9 baking pan and scrape the batter into it. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes or until it springs back lightly at the touch. 

Dust it with powdered sugar and cinnamon or hit it with some cream cheese frosting or eat it as is. 

Nom on, my friend. Nom on.

Kids and the Kinect

We've had our Kinect for the xbox 360 for about 6 months and have been through the wringer with this sucker. It's neat. Absolutely! Pain in the buttocks? Mmhm. I'm gonna break this down into sections...

Gaming Issues
While the Kinect is a groovy idea, sometimes the idea and the reality don't quite jive. Before you shell our your heard earned schekels take the time and read some reviews. I lurves me some Raving Rabbids, oh yes I do. The main reviewed complaint about the Kinect game with those bwah happy little critters is that the games are super short and you spend more time getting to the game than playing the game. Which makes it a no-dice for me and thanks for helping a sister out, reviewers!

Tech Problems
My man is basketball tall and my daughter only reaches his waist. The kinect will snap to him every time when they're trying to play together. Doesn't matter what I do - and believe me, the plenty I tried was WAY above and beyond your average Wiley Coyote measures. - it's just like that. When my daughter plays with friends who are of similar height, we have no problems with multiplayer games. She does have some problems with the Kinect "hearing" her, but that seems to be with one game so far. She LOVES bossing the Netflix around using the Kinect voice commands.

You MUST have good lighting to make the kinect work properly and try not to Goth out or Chameleon yourself with the background color. We had to hang our Kinect really high so that it could see my man from Head to Feets.We bought a Zoom attachment to see if that fixed our spacing issues and nope it didn't. I can see where it would, it just didn't do the trick for us.

My kid is too engrossed with the screen to worry about such boring things as where her feet happen to be at the time. She'd get mad that the game wasn't working because she'd wandered out of the camera "sweet spot".  I bought a rubber bottom bathrug and throw that down on the floor when she's going to play. If she's on the rug, she's in The Zone. It gives her a tactile reminder of where she should be to best play the games. It's not as effective as I'd hoped, but she knows where to return to when problems start happening in the gameplay.

Nickels and Dimes
This is pretty much my mantra for anything... I want to get it for 50% off list retail and 30% or less is my supergoal. I take a look at what Gamestop is charging, then I go take a peek at their used selection. (Generally perusing the reviews as I pass by) Then I wander over to Ebay and Amazon to see what used are going for on those  planets.  Can it be found within my price parameters or should I wait 3 months or try the pawn shop? Ebay will not only show you what current bids are for items, you can also see what they have been selling for during the last month, so you have a better idea of their usual target price.

Can I buy it as a download or just a disc? Download codes are WAY cheaper than buying the disc, usually. We got Fruit Ninja Kinect download card for free by asking the clerk at GameStop about it. (Pure luck) I picked up another game or two from Ebay for $5 per code. The Xbox Game Site wanted $10, $25 or $30 bucks for these games. They also had some games recently for $1 to download. Not all games have codes, sometimes you get lucky.

How long ago was the game released? If it was released less than 6 months ago, the only way you might get it for less than 80% of list is to get lucky in a pawn shop. Unless it sucks, then you'll find em scattered for bargain prices. 

Games that Rock for Kids - Mostly
Kinect Adventures -
This one isn't a bad starter for the system. It teaches the kids how to move and how to interact with the Kinect properly.

Kinect Star Wars - 
If you like candy, you'll dig this. It's not meant to be anything more than it is - a fun and odd romp through different SW games and environments. Not too easy for the little kids. I'd wait till 8 or so to let em give it a whack.

Kinect Party -
This is a game that has no rules or scores. It's great for the little ones. It really shows off the capabilities of the Kinect itself. Our problem with it is that the Kinect can't "hear" my daughter, so we're always having to yell at the system to change the games for her. She loves it and will wear herself out playing with these little games. 

Kinect Carnival - 
Harder than it looks and not worth much money, to be honest. There are very limited games within the Carnival and it doesn't look like it is a game that has long time play options. I'd say if you really wanna try it, go ahead but I wouldn't spend more than $4 on it, if that.

The Gunstringer - 
Not for little kids. It's a bit graphic about some things - but the gameplay is smooth and it's a fun character to play. It's built for adults and only involves using your arms - no jumping or dodging or any of that action.

Kinect Fruit Ninja - 
If your kid keeps jacking your tablet to play Fruit Ninja, this will get em outta your hair for hours.

Kinect Mini Ninja - 
Decent little game. Monk is digging being a ninja. It's not for the eensy tykes, but it is pretty cool to watch em make choices and analyze different areas of the screen.

Kinect FreeFall Racers - 
A flying race game where you get to be a flying squirrel. Fun! My kid isn't so into the race games, but Daddy seems to dig this one. :)

Creamy Mostly Veg soup

Tonight, I dug through the veg in the fridge and came up with a pile of stuff. It was getting cold, so my genetic code was screaming "Soup Time, Woman!" And I just went with it...too chilly to argue, anyhow.

It go like this, here it go:

1 cup diced celery  (leaves and all)
1 head cauliflower
1 med-large yellow squash
1.5 broccoli crowns
1 can evaporated milk
2/3 bar Cream cheese
1 box Chicken stock
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1.5 tsp Adobo Crillolo
.5 tsp White Pepper
.5 tsp Onion Powder
1/2c Italian Blend Shredded cheese (mozzarella, asiago and provologne mix)

Put the Chicken Broth and Cream of Mushroom soup in a pot. Bring it to a gentle boil while whisking. Add diced and chunked veg. All the veg now belong to the Soup. Let it simmer until the veggies are super tenderized. Turn off the pot and hit it with an immersion blender. Blend until smooth. Add pepper, onion powder and Adobo. Stir the pot. Add the cream cheese in slivers and chunks and the evaporated milk, too. Stir until the cream cheese has become one with the soup rather than floating about in odd lumps. Add the Italian blend cheese and mix that in until it disappears. Add more salt, pepper or onion powder until the taste grooves you. Serve and get down, babycakes!

I told my kid that I'd used "herbs and spices" to make all the little flecks she was seeing in the soup.
(Yeah, Dude, I'll lie straight in a kid's face about vegetable content in what they're eating and not even feel guilty. Not for a second.) She ate  everything in her bowl and enjoyed it!

Induction Cooktop Insane Easy Caramel

With the holidays rolling around, people are FB posting all their favorite sweet recipes. My cooking buddy was excited about her cousin Bobby's crock pot caramel recipe. She tried it with great result. There were many variables that made no logical sense to me. Things I've been told one must never ever do, unless you're TRYING to make somebody's day a little less bright. After a quick search of internet recipes to see what the common points and not so common variations are, I learned this:

Don't make yo shit harder than it needs to be. Science can be simple.

Hold your questions till the end, kids.

It goes like this, here it go:

Set the temp on your induction cooktop to 195.  Put an unopened can of sweetened condensed milk into a pot and fill the pot until you have covered the can with at least a 1/2 inch of water. Put the lid on and set the cooktop for 6 1/2 hours. Once the cooking cycle is complete, let the can sit in the covered water bath for another hour and a half. Transfer unopened can to fridge until you're ready to do something with your caramel.

Seriously, that's it. When the caramelish stuff has chilled, it will have a thick texture and lovely colour. The texture is not quite as stiff as the cellophane wrapped caramel candies and the colour is just a bit darker than those. It's not a chewy stringy substance, it's more spreadable like a thick Nutella. 

Questions and concerns:

1. This isn't really true caramel, it's dulce de leche. My unrefined hippy tastebuds can't tell a difference. It's yummy. I swear.
2. Quite a few blogs say that you MUST use Eagle brand. All I had in the cabinet was Great Value and it turned out just fine.
3. The caramel is quite thick once it's cooled. Feel free to add stuff when you use it... butter for a more caramel-y flavoured caramel. Salt for a salted caramel. Vanilla... you get the picture. Don't be skerred, it's just minor tweaks to make it groove for you.
4. Yes, Beavis, take the label off the can before you cook it.
5.  If your can seeps condensed milk into the pot, you're boned - start over with a new not-jacked-out can.
6.  No, the can will not explode (when you cook it at 195 degrees) and leave your kitchen a sticky horror. I was worried myself. We even talked about cooking it outside in case of splosion. Nope. Green lights all the way, man.
7. If your stuff turns out lumpy, you probably cooked it at too high a temperature. Since we can set the temp with an induction cooktop, that's not a problem.
8. If you MUST see what's going on in the can during the cooking process, use ball jars with the lid and all that.
9. This is NOT shelf stable, it must be refrigerated. It's milk.
10. You may need to thin it down with milk or cream to make it more easily pourable when warmed. Play around with it to get the texture you want.
11. Keep an eye on it while it cooks. The water must cover the can at all times.

Enjoy, y'all!

Side note: I am not responsible for the dimples on your behind once you get addicted to this super easy caramel. Heh!

Sock Monster freedom! Hallelujer, I say!

I've been the Sock Monster's bitch since I was 15. It only got worse as I aged and started accumulating humans. Bipedal life forms of any age in my vicinity develop severe Sock Monster Syndrome. Dunno why. That's like contemplating the color blue - it's an IS. Finding pairs of mated socks is darned near impossible. I do find single socks under beds, in between couch cushions, on dodgy ledges and occasionally in the wrong drawers. I gave up on matching Luna's cute little patterned socks by the time she was 3. There are only so many hours of the day I can spend digging under furniture. Ask, beg, threaten all with no discernible change in where the socks end up. I have a grown human who will wear a single pair of socks until they have so many holes he can't wear them or a clean pair appears in his drawer. All without a single request to have socks laundered.

When I had 5 kids and two mates, I was writing letters in sharpie on socks, buying different styles and colors and even laying paws on some sock clips that hold socks together in the laundry. Nope. Still the sock monster's bitch. Go in any room and open the sock drawer, you'd find 3+ unmatched socks, at least one pair of  someone else's socks and a handful of socks that should have been thrown out two sock purchases ago... and if you're lucky one pair of matched socks of the correct size and style.

Then I bought my Sweetness a pair o these:

Vibram Fivefinger Toe Shoes

I am free of the Sock Monster at last. That assclown can starve. No more socks! Well... on rare occasion. My daughter is begging for a pair of shoes like Daddy's. If I can get her hooked as well.. oh YES!!! *giggling maniacally*  I live My life in a pair of Birkenstocks but neither Man nor Child have hippie feet.  Shame, but that's the way of it.

Hallelujer!
Damn skippy, Skippy.

May not be the perfect plan, but the break will be nice!

Pork and Veg Tomato-ish Soup

Winter is coming, the days are getting colder and I'm ready to start doing weekly soups. Family and friends have their favourites but every once in a while I'm game for something new. This week I decided to wander into the land of pork with a tomato groove to it. It's more of a soup than my usual, meaning it's a thin but savoury liquid with teeny bits of this and that floating about in it. My man dug it in a big way and I was able to modify it when sending it along as his lunch one day.

I cook my soups in a crock pot and let em simmer all day, it makes the house smell amazing!

It go like this here it go...

Part 1: Meat!

1 24oz Hormel Pork Sirloin - Garlic & Herb flavoured.
1/3 c Ken's Sweet Vidalia Onion Dressing
1/3 c Ken's Balsamic Vinaigrette
1 c White Wine
1 tsp Adobo Crillollo
1 Tbsp Molasses

Cook the meat in the crock pot till done. It takes about 3 hours or so. Let it rest until it's cool enough to handle. I took the meat out of the juice, strained the juice and put it back in the crock. This can be done the night before if you can't be there during the day to deal with it. Cut the meat up into small bits, about 1/2" cubes is good enough and throw it back into the juice.

Part 2: Souptastic goodness!

1 Lg Yellow squash - diced
3 Med Carrots - diced
1 Med Sweet onion - diced
1 Med-Lg Leek - sliced & chopped
2 c Mushrooms - diced
2 small cans Hunts Tomato Paste with Basil, Garlic and Oregano
1 can Cream of Celery Soup
2 Boxes Swanson Chicken Broth
2 Tbsp Italian Dried Herb Mixture
Reserved Juice and Pork bits
1 tsp Adobo Crillollo

Throw the canned stuff and broth into the crock pot and wisk until smooth. Toss in everything else and give it a stir. Let it grok in the crock on HI for 5 hours or so. It's a crock pot soup, you really can't overcook it unless you forget about it for a couple of days. Check the veggies, when they're as tender as you want em to be it's done. Salt and pepper to taste when your veggies are ready. This makes about 12 cups of soup as near as I can figure.

I served it with Jiffy cornbread because I was feeling lazy. :)

Soup Mod!
I wanted to make some changes for the third serve of this soup and added diced smoked sausage, minced garlic and hidden veggie macaroni elbows. I transferred the last of the soup to a pot and put it on the stove. The macaroni cooked in the broth along with the rest of my new additions.  Pasta done? Serve it!

Sorry there's not a photo. I've been sick. *bleah*

Chocolate Chip Cookies

I saw a photo of  some Spider Chip cookies and knew that my little Goth Empress would lose her mind over them. Followed the art direction... Fail. Cookies tasted great. Did the chips end up looking like little spiders? No, they looked like chocolate chips the cats had taste tested while the dominant female human wasn't looking...

You know me, can't see a recipe without wanting to put my own thoughts and imaginings in the mix.  A quick search netted the Toll House recipe. Mhmm. White flour. Pfffft. Man I wish I had some peppermint extract. Oh well, I've got peppermint mocha creamer. Let's get into trouble, Baby!

*edit* Yeah, the creamer didn't pack as much of a punch as I'd hoped.

So I did this with it:

1/2 c Cheap ass Margarine
1/2 c Shortening
1 c Brown Sugar
1/2 c White Sugar
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
2 Tbsp Peppermint Mocha Creamer

Toss it in your mixer and cream it all together. Throw in two eggs and 3/4 tsp salt. Keep on beating.

Whisk together in a separate bowl:
1 tsp Baking Soda
1/4 c Milled golden Flax seed
1 c Oat Flour (Ground down plain oatmeal)
1/2 c Whole Wheat Flour
3/4 c All Purpose White Flour

Add the flour to the goo in your mixing bowl and whup it good.

Once combined, add in a whole packet of semi sweet chocolate chips. The dough is gonna be a little loose. Chuck it into the Frigidaire for at least an hour to firm it up. I might let it sit in there overnight.. Or you can throw it into the freezer to firm it up faster.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Drop by heaping teaspoonful onto an ungreased cookie sheet and bake for 8-10 minutes.

Cool the cookies on a wire rack. Nom nom nommity!